What I wonder about Kellie Chauvin is why it took the 19th complaint against her husband before she decided he wasn't moral enough to be married to her.

Was she completely ignorant of the other complaints? He probably didn't exactly talk about them over dinner but surely others may have mentioned them to him. What did she know and when did she know it?

As for men protecting women, I don't think that's a negative idea....like it or not, our biology *dictates* that women are physically the weaker sex. We *do* need men to protect us, regardless of colour. Believe me, if a man is about to hurt you and another man shows up and stops him, you're going to be supremely grateful for that patriarchal male domination protection thing. The idea of male protection needs an overhaul, clearly...and not just for whites. Other racial cultures have their own fucked up ideas of protecting women from 'taint' (in the Middle East it's so toxic that often the only thing that can remove the 'taint' is by killing the woman) and Africa itself has been home to some pretty abusive *cultural* practices against women originating in centuries far prior to colonization and the slave trade.

We DO need them to protect us sometimes...but the rules have to change, because as you point out they're interconnected to granting them the mental 'right' to dominate others.

I DO appreciate what little courtesy is left with men, who are a lot less gentle than they were a generation ago. And can we PLEASE get over the door-holding crap? Gods, women have been fussing about this literally since the beginning of the Second Wave. Whoever gets to the door first should hold it. Geez.

You want to make real progress for women? Stop obsessing about doors and start asking what *women* are doing to hold themselves back, how *women* aren't challenging themselves enough, how *women* can, most importantly, Just Say No to abusive men. Whether they're getting abused, or whether their man is abusing blacks or, just mass-raping women like Cosby.

Self-help centrist in the Murky Middle. Egalitarian & feminism critic. Visit me and reclaim your power on Grow Some Labia! www.nicolechardenet.com

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